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An Open Letter to My Family

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Dear Mum, dad and Leah,

Firstly, I want to say that I care about you and I’d always assumed that you would be a part of my life. Sadly this is no longer the case, and I can’t see it changing, ever.

I tried to make it as clear as possible - to no effect - that I wasn’t taking a step against you by leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I disagree with their teachings, the way they enforce their beliefs, and how insulated they are from reality. That has nothing to do with how I feel about you.

Unfortunately, the doctrines you have put all your effort into believing, make you cut me off, for essentially what boils down to a disagreement in beliefs. So what? I’m still the same person I was 2 months ago, 2 years ago, 20 years ago. I haven’t killed anyone, I haven’t abused you, I haven’t done anything worthy of being kicked out of the family.

It’s kind of funny that originally the JWs were so critical of the catholic practice of ex-communication, saying that it’s unbiblical (citing scriptural proof), yet now they do the same, except it’s even worse, because the JWs make it to be a complete exile from family and friends (and cite scriptural proof for it). See image:

excommunication denounced by jehovah's witnesses

It just blows me away that you’re so wrapped up in this cult you can’t see what you’re actually doing.

You abandoned your own son/brother over a disagreement in belief

You abandoned your own son/brother over a disagreement in belief

You abandoned your own son/brother over a disagreement in belief

Does that seem reasonable? As a father, I can never ever imagine doing that, no matter what!

I wasn’t angry before, even though you kept claiming it over and over. I’m angry now, I’m furious. I despise the Jehovah’s Witnesses, but only slightly more than most other religions, so don’t think your doctrines are that special or some prophecy is coming true, it’s not.

I had some good times and bad times growing up. The good times I had were despite the church, not because of it. Sure I made friends from the congregation, but I had little choice in that. Those friends I had were good while it lasted and I enjoyed the times I spent with them eating, going out, surfing, riding motorcycles and everything else. I didn’t enjoy sitting down for evenings, weekends, and other times stuck in a stuffy room listening to people drone on about a god of love who kills everyone. Is that really a surprise? Whatever, that’s not the point of this letter anyway.

I know there’s nothing I can say to change your mind, but the only thing I want to get across is this:

  • You actively cut me off, while you have said explicitly that you think it’s my fault, it isn’t. I can choose what I believe based on evidence. You choose to cut me off because of this.
  • What you’ve done is wrong, and frankly, disgusting
  • Please admit to yourself that you decided to delete me from your life because we disagree on beliefs and for no other reason, then think about that

You are still able to see, and communicate with Kai and Erik, and even Andrea. You see no problem with doing so, as long as I’m not around. It should be obvious at this point who took the step of breaking all the ties, it certainly wasn’t me or my family.

I hope you are well, you wont be reading this so it doesn’t matter anyway, but I love you.